Friday Night

Soooo Friday night.. And this is the best my roommate and I can do... Uploading photos to that "yearbook yourself" website, watching Jersey Shore, and trying to not think of boys...

This is why I love my friend (lets call her Janet...)! She helps me feel better all the time! She said the best thing ever tonight... something that made me laugh and made my night suddenly so much better! She said she was gonna punch Bob in the balls and then look at him and when he says "why?" she'd say "YOU know why!!!" I love Janet... SOOOO! I've made a list... a list of what I want from a guy... I need help to figure out what else I should look for, I feel like most of these things are just soooo superficial...

1) Tall - 6 feet or over

2) has tattoo's

3) in shape

4) is in school

          OR

5) has a good solid job

6) can carry on a conversation

7) is manly

8) likes my friends

        AND

9) they like him

10) athlete

11) loves sports - especially CFL and hockey

12) is a family guy

13) likes kids (and wants some)

14) believes in marriage

15) makes me feel beautiful and special

I think thats good... I just, I know who I want (I think) but he has a bitch of a girlfriend... slash I hear she's his girlfriend from one person then I hear he hates her and its not a girlfriend from another person...

I just want to know what happened, does he like me? did he ever like me? what happened? I just want things to go back to the way things were... talking to him... just being his friend... I mean, I REALLY wanna be more than friends but I also will take just friends right now... I just... uhhhh I want to be with someone, I want to find that guy who makes me happy, who makes me feel special, who makes me feel like one in a million... someone I can call and just cuddle up with... *SCREAM* why does my life suck... especially when it comes to guys!? Guys are cheaters and liars and I hate them all... but I also love them so much...

okay... no more venting... okay... a little more venting...

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to just fight someone, want to punch someone in the fucking face and bitch out someone... I want to know why guys cheat, want to know why guys lead girls on and why they do this stupid shit... Why do I fall for guys so easily too? Why do I get sooooo attached to guys soooo easily? I hate it, because as soon as I fall for a guy, BAM they screw me up, they hurt me, and I get into this rut that I'm in right now, where I just, I want to be with a guy, I get all attached to a guy, then I get broken... Its all my fault, I mean, BAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! F-MY-LIFE!!!!!!

okay, seriously, going to stop ranting now... I love how no one will ever read this... but man it feel sooo good to just let go!

<3 xo